Question: How are people & environment related?
Why do people do what they do (motivation)?
original
There’s a saying that goes along the lines that in Rome do as the Romans do. After you get past the surface meaning and start to comprehend the meaning that you should respect the ways of different cultures, you can begin to think a little further and understand that this applies to everywhere in the world. By this I mean that everywhere you will go you will meet different cultures and people influenced by these cultures. The question is how are they related, there are so many factors that may influence people to their environments. Students and their academic competition, and how that influences them is an aspect I have been able to experience in the past when I went to visit a few other countries. To start things off I will talk about the people and environment here in HIS. Firstly, due to the size of the school, everybody knows each other and that puts a little more pressure on everyone to treat each other a little nicer. Probably the biggest factor is how flexible the classes are with homework and deadlines. This part of school is what influences many people in the school to be relaxed, flexible in their own lives, and willing to accept other people’s failures and misdoings. Obviously there is good and bad that comes out of this style of classes. The good is that it teaches us students to be accepting of people and their personalities, people’s mistakes, being generous and kind and it allows us to develop character. Since we have more time to be ourselves we are allowed to follow our passions and spend more time with people and develop greater communication skills with others. The downside is that it creates lazy people who don’t meet deadlines, people with less respect for their teachers and superiors since they believe they have more control, people who are less concerned of their future and people who don’t know how to approach jobs and demanding settings. In comparison to two schools that I got the chance to visit, HIS students stand out as more caring and outstanding friends, but less aware of their own future compared to students in the schools I visited in Germany and in Korea. Both schools probably had more than a thousand students and there was no possible way that everyone knew each other. The environment of both schools were very similar in the sense that everyone had to care for themselves and not expect any respect from any fellow school mate. I will focus on the academic aspect of the Korean school because it stood out from any system I had ever seen or experienced. Korean schools are usually very competitive but in the senior year when students apply to universities, students go through a robot-like transformation. Students go to school from early morning (8 a.m.) until early afternoon (2 p.m.), through any means of transportation they then go to a second school to prepare for university tests (maximum amount of time to reach this ‘other school’ is about an hour, in which they eat lunch and study) then until late night they are studying and taking practice tests where they are strictly graded (10-11 p.m.) then they make their way back to their homes to continue with school homework and studying for other tests. I’m not fully aware of this but during this period of time students probably only sleep a maximum of 5 hours if they are very lucky and super organized. Even through the hell that students have to go through there is a good that comes out from this; you get a population of people that are very well educated in many subjects, people who manage their lives, are very responsible, and with all that knowledge they know what they want to pursue in their future. The more obvious part, the downside is that it deprives students from their own rights, it is unhealthy, creativity from students is almost completely lost, it creates robots instead of people, less social people, people who don’t care about anyone else but themselves, and for the cases where students aren’t capable in excelling in their studies they bring shame to themselves and their family which can be mentally scarring. In all simplicity though the culture in HIS and in this Korean school make you realize the difference in environment and the type of people that are created from that. HIS tends to have relaxed students without strong beliefs in their future but are social and caring for others and themselves. A Korean student (that studies in a Korean school) would have a stronger mindset with their own lives will be better educated but in return they are very antisocial and have no true distinct personality.
revised
There is a saying that in Rome, “do as the Romans do”. As you get past the surface meaning you can begin to comprehend that this saying can be applied any different culture, scenarios and people. Now the question is how are they related, how is an individual’s environment connect with whom they are and what they do. I have been able to experience the influence environment can have on people from visiting a few other countries. To begin I would like to introduce my current environment HIS. Due to the size of this school, everybody knows each other and is very sensitive and careful when it comes to criticizing each other, we treat each other quite nicely. Our classes are quite flexible and so are the homework and deadlines. This attribute of this school causes people to be very laid back, relaxed and complacent leading to the generality of people being very accepting and generous of each other. This helps us be more open to others and accept differences in people, we have time to follow our passions, get to know ourselves better and other people. Helping fostering better communication skills, and becoming more communal people. The downside to this approach is that people become lazy, supple deadlines cause people to meander and show less respect to their teachers, and cannot handle demanding situations and jobs. HIS stood out to me as a more caring school with outstanding friends when I was able to be exposed to schools in Germany and Korea, where the table flipped. Both the schools I visited there were huge, there were thousands of students and there was no way that everybody would get to know each other. There was one relative similarity I found was that people lacked respect for one another because they really did not have to care about each other. In Korea, the academic perspective baffled me, academic engulfed a student’s life. Students go to school from early morning (8 a.m.) until early afternoon (2 p.m.), through any means of transportation they then go to a second school to prepare for university tests (maximum amount of time to reach this ‘other school’ is about an hour, in which they eat lunch and study) then until late night they are studying and taking practice tests where they are strictly graded (10-11 p.m.) then they make their way back to their homes to continue with school homework and studying for other tests. If you were extremely organized and efficient, you would get 5 hours of sleep in this lifestyle. This hell creates a population of very well educated individual that are knowledgeable and responsible thinkers. This hell does create a less social, robot like, unhealthy, and relatively less creative person. Their environment back home also helps instigate this pressure more, because if a student does not perform well enough then he shamed by his entire family, mentally scaring him. Through this comparison in environments you see how the people in HIS are different due to their surroundings and the student I observed in Korea are to theres. A HIS student would be more loving, compassionate, and social beings. They would lack a strong mindset and vigour relative to Korean students, who have a stronger more educated mindset, but lacking in human qualities, lacking the social uniqueness every individual in this world has a right to.
Essay
The General HIS Student
How are the people and the environment related? Why do people do what they do? Both these questions were answered by an exemplary reflection by Enrique Yohei Lopez Lopez. He gave his answer to one of life’s questions with the observations and perspectives he has gained throughout his life. One from our school of HIS and his experiences at bigger and more competitive schools in Korea and Germany. He explained how the people from these two very different environments shaped its students and culture. Helping us correlate how much the environment can influence people and contour their life decisions. As any piece of art on this earth, there is room for improvement. The revisions I have made help further articulate Enrique's statements by changing his vocabulary, condensing and providing much needed restructuring of his exemplary work.
We begin with Enrique’s introduction of the typical personality of people he has observed in HIS and comparing it to Korean students he had observed there. “Firstly, due to the size of the school, everybody knows each other and that puts a little more pressure on everyone to treat each other a little nicer”(Enrique). The most wonderful part about this literature was Enrique very personal perspective, one that only the people of HIS would understand, and that there, is the problem. His sentences are long and they provide quite a lot of words to ingest. Words like“puts a little more pressure on everyone to treat each other”, “Obviously”, “lazy people”, “who don’t know”, “less respect”, “probably had more”, “everyone had to care for themselves”, “more obvious part”, “less social people”, etc… They are not specific enough to illustrate to an audience who does not experience HIS from the proximity of his point of view. I have changed these with more direct vocabulary, such as “supple”, “complacent”, “meander”, “efficient”, “instigate”, “vigour” “fostering”, “attribute”, etc… These words provide more description and are better contoured to the HIS environment. His perspectives about our school’s society was very true, and I understood very well only because I am very close to him, and I agree with his observations. Here is a sentence example, “Since we have more time to be ourselves we are allowed to follow our passions and spend more time with people and develop greater communication skills with others”(Enrique). When I looked at this I comprehended what he wanted to say, but I can change the vocabulary, which makes it ever so exceptional but also as we veer into the next topic, condense it.
Our cliffhanger sentence previously was edited by me with the next issue to tackle, condensing. Here is the edited version, “Helping fostering better communication skills, and becoming more communal people.” (Adnan). I still get his main points across, but I have made it much more concise and clear-cut, something Enrique’s piece really needs. Do not think by condensing his work we are taking away the original meaning, no his central dogma is still there. Environments influence people, and HIS and Korea are examples of this. 800 words, to the revised version of 567 words. It was necessary to cut back on the 233 words that acted as bulk that just meandered the reader’s mind to other things from the subject at hand. By that I mean , Enrique would stray away from his main question in hand. “There’s a saying that goes along the lines that in Rome do as the Romans do. After you get past the surface meaning and start to comprehend the meaning that you should respect the ways of different cultures, you can begin to think a little further and understand that this applies to everywhere in the world”(Enrique). I found no purpose to this sentence in helping his his original went from, the first mistake you can see is “do as the Romans do” is not put into quotation marks. You can see that replacing his vocabulary would make it clearer, “As you get past the surface meaning you can begin to comprehend that this saying can be applied any different culture, scenarios and people”(Adnan). We can see that we can condense it, and this what most of my work was on Enrique’s essay, so his audience can get a more clear-cut answer.
My final task was restructuring some sentences, adding words, deleting them, or replacing their position somewhere else where that evidence could support another detail better. One that needed all three of our topics was his concluding remarks, “with their own lives will be better educated but in return they are very antisocial and have no true distinct personality”(Enrique). The reason why this sentence is in dire need of refurbishing, is because it could offend people and Korean people in general, this is where he needs to be careful with wording and such. I needed to change into, “A HIS student would be more loving, compassionate, and social beings. They would lack a strong mindset and vigour relative to Korean students, who have a stronger more educated mindset, but lacking in human qualities, lacking the social uniqueness every individual in this world has a right to”(Adnan). Here the use of the word “relative”, makes his previous statement safer for a general audience, and the addition of the last sentence “every individual in this world has a right to”(Adnan). Does not leave us with a negative connotation of a group of people as his original did.
Enrique exposed us to a very simple and evident environment that we see everyday, HIS, to answer his question on the environment’s influence on people. Comparing it with another culture that carries a very different type of people and it is all due to the environment. His very justifiable observations about this comparison is what makes it exemplary, I just purely love his perspective on this topic. With the condensing, restructuring and vocabulary switch, we are now left with a more revised and refurbished essay. One that reflects the dogma and feeling of the original but also submits to necessary changes needed to display this writing as exemplary. Through this process I have learned how important of an impact vocabulary can have on both sentence length and meaning. Some of his sentences did not really make sense to me because his word choices were too general. My perspective also became more localized thanks to him, when I usually answer these reflection questions I get quite philosophical and only talk about myself. I forget about reflecting on the environment around me, and that world from my view is not myself all the time. Yes people are the product of their environment, and the people around me affect me, whether it is HIS or Korea we all reflect the pressures of our surroundings and Enrique has illuminated that to us.
How are the people and the environment related? Why do people do what they do? Both these questions were answered by an exemplary reflection by Enrique Yohei Lopez Lopez. He gave his answer to one of life’s questions with the observations and perspectives he has gained throughout his life. One from our school of HIS and his experiences at bigger and more competitive schools in Korea and Germany. He explained how the people from these two very different environments shaped its students and culture. Helping us correlate how much the environment can influence people and contour their life decisions. As any piece of art on this earth, there is room for improvement. The revisions I have made help further articulate Enrique's statements by changing his vocabulary, condensing and providing much needed restructuring of his exemplary work.
We begin with Enrique’s introduction of the typical personality of people he has observed in HIS and comparing it to Korean students he had observed there. “Firstly, due to the size of the school, everybody knows each other and that puts a little more pressure on everyone to treat each other a little nicer”(Enrique). The most wonderful part about this literature was Enrique very personal perspective, one that only the people of HIS would understand, and that there, is the problem. His sentences are long and they provide quite a lot of words to ingest. Words like“puts a little more pressure on everyone to treat each other”, “Obviously”, “lazy people”, “who don’t know”, “less respect”, “probably had more”, “everyone had to care for themselves”, “more obvious part”, “less social people”, etc… They are not specific enough to illustrate to an audience who does not experience HIS from the proximity of his point of view. I have changed these with more direct vocabulary, such as “supple”, “complacent”, “meander”, “efficient”, “instigate”, “vigour” “fostering”, “attribute”, etc… These words provide more description and are better contoured to the HIS environment. His perspectives about our school’s society was very true, and I understood very well only because I am very close to him, and I agree with his observations. Here is a sentence example, “Since we have more time to be ourselves we are allowed to follow our passions and spend more time with people and develop greater communication skills with others”(Enrique). When I looked at this I comprehended what he wanted to say, but I can change the vocabulary, which makes it ever so exceptional but also as we veer into the next topic, condense it.
Our cliffhanger sentence previously was edited by me with the next issue to tackle, condensing. Here is the edited version, “Helping fostering better communication skills, and becoming more communal people.” (Adnan). I still get his main points across, but I have made it much more concise and clear-cut, something Enrique’s piece really needs. Do not think by condensing his work we are taking away the original meaning, no his central dogma is still there. Environments influence people, and HIS and Korea are examples of this. 800 words, to the revised version of 567 words. It was necessary to cut back on the 233 words that acted as bulk that just meandered the reader’s mind to other things from the subject at hand. By that I mean , Enrique would stray away from his main question in hand. “There’s a saying that goes along the lines that in Rome do as the Romans do. After you get past the surface meaning and start to comprehend the meaning that you should respect the ways of different cultures, you can begin to think a little further and understand that this applies to everywhere in the world”(Enrique). I found no purpose to this sentence in helping his his original went from, the first mistake you can see is “do as the Romans do” is not put into quotation marks. You can see that replacing his vocabulary would make it clearer, “As you get past the surface meaning you can begin to comprehend that this saying can be applied any different culture, scenarios and people”(Adnan). We can see that we can condense it, and this what most of my work was on Enrique’s essay, so his audience can get a more clear-cut answer.
My final task was restructuring some sentences, adding words, deleting them, or replacing their position somewhere else where that evidence could support another detail better. One that needed all three of our topics was his concluding remarks, “with their own lives will be better educated but in return they are very antisocial and have no true distinct personality”(Enrique). The reason why this sentence is in dire need of refurbishing, is because it could offend people and Korean people in general, this is where he needs to be careful with wording and such. I needed to change into, “A HIS student would be more loving, compassionate, and social beings. They would lack a strong mindset and vigour relative to Korean students, who have a stronger more educated mindset, but lacking in human qualities, lacking the social uniqueness every individual in this world has a right to”(Adnan). Here the use of the word “relative”, makes his previous statement safer for a general audience, and the addition of the last sentence “every individual in this world has a right to”(Adnan). Does not leave us with a negative connotation of a group of people as his original did.
Enrique exposed us to a very simple and evident environment that we see everyday, HIS, to answer his question on the environment’s influence on people. Comparing it with another culture that carries a very different type of people and it is all due to the environment. His very justifiable observations about this comparison is what makes it exemplary, I just purely love his perspective on this topic. With the condensing, restructuring and vocabulary switch, we are now left with a more revised and refurbished essay. One that reflects the dogma and feeling of the original but also submits to necessary changes needed to display this writing as exemplary. Through this process I have learned how important of an impact vocabulary can have on both sentence length and meaning. Some of his sentences did not really make sense to me because his word choices were too general. My perspective also became more localized thanks to him, when I usually answer these reflection questions I get quite philosophical and only talk about myself. I forget about reflecting on the environment around me, and that world from my view is not myself all the time. Yes people are the product of their environment, and the people around me affect me, whether it is HIS or Korea we all reflect the pressures of our surroundings and Enrique has illuminated that to us.